Weak Spot

There are millions of people everywhere that are overweight. I unfortunantely happen to be one of them. Yeah you can say no you don't look big or you're fine the way you are. But the facts are that my bmi is considered obese. Obese = A very ugly word. This sadly has been something I have struggled with my whole life. The funny thing is looking back I was probably pretty average. Now I'm starting to get older, I've gotten "comfortable" in my relationship and I sit at a desk all day. Those 3 factors have started to take a toll on my body. I have pretty much unconsciously gained a bit of weight. My pants are slowly year by year getting tighter. I've just been in denial for the past few years, squeezing into the same size pants even though they are getting noticeably uncomfortable. I love shopping, but right now it's not that fun. I can only shop at certain places and and can only buy certains items of clothing. It's a sad thing! hah I've tried to eat healthy and I've tried excersising, usually one or the other. I love food, but I also know that I eat because of emotional reasons, and social situations. When I want to get out of the house, or if I want to socialize with a girlfriend, what do we do? Go have brunch or lunch or dinner or drinks. Eating is hardly just to sustain our bodies anymore. Before the wedding I tried weight watchers with my friend Liz. I never thought I could do it, but I ended up loving it. You go once a week, but you get the satisfaction of seeing the weight loss. And everyone celebrates with you. Everyone there is in the same boat with you. I ended up losing 16 pounds. Not all the weight I wanted, but it was a start. I ended up getting distracted by the wedding and everything going on, and stopped going. Guess what! I gained most of it back. I just ignored everything I learned and went back to eating whatever and whenever I wanted to. Well I'm back at it now, I went back to my first meeting last week. Tony came with me for moral support. It was nice to have him there with me. I know that I'm going to have to stick with it if I want to lose the weight and keep it off. I also plan to start incorporating exercise. I've gotten so lazy and couch potatoey. I'm always sluggish and just use the weather as an excuse. I have a gym membership, I just need to use it! I always felt so good after working out, it's just hard to drag myself there in the first place. Especially after a long day at work which there are a lot of those. So I just need to suck it up and MAKE the time! I don't know if this time around is going to be any different, but I really hope it is. I don't want my weight and self consciousness to hold me back anymore. Also I'm starting to get older, and I know my health is a factor. This isn't for lent or a new years resolution. It's just something I need to do with my life.